Well, well, well, here I am again. Jumping years again, as per my usual pattern. Anyways, I'm turning back to the vain hope of journaling once again, as I've been feeling rather...well, stagnant lately. Creatively, that is. I don't know, I'm quite happy with how this year is turning out, and I have plenty to do, but then I have odd points where I just get horribly restless...and I think I'm looking for some sort of more creative outlet, but then I don't know what to draw or write or even where to start. And then, with the talk that has surfaced the past day or two, I just feel like maybe I should try getting my musings out on paper.
We had the Dreaded Discussion in DSS (Drama, Stage, and Society--basically scripts throughout history, so this talk wasn't even that relevant to the class material) yesterday, and touched on it again in Voice & Speech: that of life after college, especially for theatre majors. Casey Kaleba--who is awesome in the way only young theatre professors can be; in addition to one of those people who simply must be addressed by first and last name-- paralleled the life of theatre-major-graduates to the myth of Sisyphus (Hades-boulder-neverending struggle uphill), which of course rang dauntingly true. The fact that whether we like it or not, we have doomed ourselves to be forever striving towards the next audition, the next show, the next company, the next chance. I suppose this also links back to Tom's favorite saying that theatre majors are perverts. And yes, he is rather serious. Its really only now that its striking home with me... How can it not be perverse to choose a career that you will always be hungering (metaphorically, and, hopefully, not too often physically)? To choose a career where you will constantly be comparing yourself to hundreds of others; where you are waging a constant battle with nearly any aquaintance, companion, best friend, teacher, enemy, loved one, even family?
And yet, the only comforting part that thankfully did worm its way into the discussion: We do it because we cannot imagine doing anything else. A rather perverse love, yes, I must finally admit, but its a love nonetheless. Though usually I spend my time blissfully ignorant and downright neglectful of my nearing future after school, I was still firmly in love with theatre when I did turn my thoughts to it. I really, honestly cannot imagine life without it. Its a train of thought I dealt with in highschool, and I was quite relieved to find my feelings on the matter have only strengthened. I still have a chance. And, for the added hope of another Casey Kaleba quote: "Success is there to be seized." You can choose when to stop being hungry. There's always a choice.
Now I've audtions to run to, but it's something to mull over.
